Character Bios

Rose Tulip

As the daughter of award winning producer Edward Tulip, Rose knew from an early age she was destined to become a filmmaker. At eleven years old, she completed her first short film, “No Taxation Without Representation”, about four squirrels that lived in her backyard.

She graduated with a degree in film from USC and compiled a C- average over her five and half years as an undergrad. She is convinced anyone who doesn’t understand her vision for the next big summer blockbuster movie, which is everyone, is a complete idiot.

After graduation, Rose found Claire’s listing for an apartment on Craigslist and moved in with her newfound best friend. Almost immediately, Rose adopted Claire’s lust for men. Unfortunately, no one has ever taught her how to put on makeup properly, much less actually carry a normal conversation with a guy, thus her crave is never satisfied. Her virginity consistently threatens to grow back.

Claire Balzar

Claire dragged her fiancé, Cooper, across the country to Los Angeles in order to claim what was rightfully hers – fame and celebrity. After arriving, she decided the easiest way to become famous would be through acting. She enrolled in the Bronson Chod Academy of Dramatic Acting and attended five sessions over the fourteen-week course. She was too busy drinking to make the other nine.

Claire lives separately from her fiancé in order to complete her list of “Guys I’d Like To Bang Before I’m Married.” She enjoys living the party lifestyle that she’s studied thoroughly by watching TMZ and The Hills. She may be the only person in the world who believes in Rose’s movie ideas. By being a part of them, she sees that her fame is just around the corner.

Edward Tulip

Edward relocated to the west coast to work in the film industry as a young man and immediately landed a job at Sony Pictures. He quickly moved up the ranks and was producing by the age of 30. As a producer, Edward has won two Golden Globes and was nominated for the Best Picture in the Oscars for his debut film “Battle Stars.” Since then, his work has seen great box office success, but struggled to get more than two stars from any of the critics.

Edward has given up on the prospect of getting re-married, since his wife passed. He would like nothing more but to see his two children become adults. Although, he is not so sure will ever happen.

Cooper Reighn

Cooper has dreamt of getting married ever since first seeing “Three Men and a Little Lady” as a child. He’s fantasized every last detail from the venue to the flowers and of course the dress over and over again. The moment Claire first took his order at the Billy Goat Tavern in Chicago, he was fairly certain she would be the lucky lady to partake in his grand vision. After accompanying Claire to Los Angeles, Cooper landed a gig as a middle school Home Economics Teacher.

When he’s not teaching, he’s tweeting, and when he’s not tweeting, he’s blogging. However, when he’s not blogging, he’s usually tweeting about blogging… or reading Gawker.com

Lotus Tulip

Lotus is a brother to Rose and Son to Edward, but that’s about it. He first disappeared after his third day working in development at Sony, a job Edward landed for him. His three days at Sony serves as the only work experience Lotus has had in his entire life. He returned eighteen months later to live in his childhood bedroom with a baldhead and the entire library of Seattle Grunge music 1989-1994.

After seven months, Edward kicked Lotus out of the house for his lack of motivation. For the next few weeks, he lived the “upscale homeless life” in the alley behind The Palm in West Hollywood. He dined on leftover steak and salmon, while showering never and casually using drugs always.